Peace

An extended family member died suddenly and unexpectedly this weekend. Someone who, I think it is fair to say, was challenging to herself and others. No matter what happened during or after her life she is at peace now. But because of who she was many in my family are left to sort it out.

There have been people in my life who have died that I miss greatly. I expect to miss them for as long as I am alive. Because we are human, and so imperfect, there is always a list of regrets but I see and read things that I know would make them laugh or that they would love and I feel a familiar mix of emotion that always ends with a kind of pure sadness. I have come to think of that feeling as what grief is transformed into.

It is harder by many degrees when loss is so intermingled with anger, relief and shock. In the days ahead everyone will get to make their choices about all of the unfinished business she left behind.